FAREWELL!

thank you!!! thank you for all the comments, feedback, ideas , support, and gosh, attention!! these past three years i have had someone to write to whenever i had some ideas or needed to vent. i cant explain how grateful i am. its been a rough road huh? remember the time i said "sh*t" and created an uproar. or the times i secretly tried to woo the ladies with my lame poetry? gosh it was fun.

but ladies and gentleman...

the israellites had to carry the tabernacle of God with them everywhere they went.

right on their back.

it moved, they moved.

i'm leaving blogspot. once and for all.

its been a great stretch. years even. but i want to start fresh. my motivations for writing have changed tons since i started this blog as a young 17 year old. i actually do not enjoy writing online as i used to.

i love writing letters. and moleskins are great. but being an open book to the public gets irritating. you know what i mean?

it was fun while it lasted...you know, having imaginary friends to write to.
but now i have an actual functioning warm blooded community of friends that enjoy writing letters and sending polaroids to each other. you know VIA UPS...

SO..JOIN IN on the fun. get some penpals. buy a camera.

i'll be posting my letters and (with their permission) their letters on my new site:

www.noelbeato.tumblr.com

peace!

i went to my friends house tonight and broke everything i touched.

my thoughts on war

lovefromkate.com -- check it out.

on other news, my friend Julio Anta lent me a book on writing by Anne Lamont so i should be getting better soon.

i should be gone by now.. somehow the winds blew softly enough to keep me here where i belong, belong-ed?, am.
well ya know how the morning rises every morning without permission? Well its kind of like that.
have you ever felt like there's force controlling behind the scenes, letting us feel free, a deceived kind of FREE?
that's exactly it. all this free time has let me make up theories and hide behind books that others wrote, lived, breathed.
point is, i want to write, live and breathe.
--i don't have a clue what i'm saying.
bare with me.

a safety pin is holding up the things THAT MAKE YOU MINE.

how to save a life by ArhcamtIlnaad

One day.

One day I'll move to Portland.

One day my car will stop making that horrible noise.

One day my father and I will agree on politics.

One day her gut feeling will go away.

One day I'll lay in bed next to my wife and children.

One day I'll have read all the books on my list.

One day I'll stop procrastinating.

One day my beard will grow over the patch on my neck.

One day I'll see the world.

One day I'll stop making lists of everything I'd like to see happen.

One day I'll be content with what is already in my hands.

One day.

Here's to making "one day," today.

i hereby give permission to be happy for them even though they're characters.

while everyone has sex...

i read books and write scribbles on sheets my mom or dog will one day find hidden in my closet reserved for winter coats. i am not unique, nor am i same. i am a reader, wishing i was interesting enough to be a character myself. i am a writer, a mute one in fact, this is all they hear of me. i rent movies, and while i do - dog cuddled in and fan powered to high - i realize that i watched it just so that i could tell her and one day i would be one of the "others", you know, the ones NOT watching the movies alone on Saturday nights.

i am a mess. i make up "she's" in my stories because no one really cares about spirituality or family life. i know this because these are the things that distant friends ask about over social networks. they ask about these things because they feel they have a right. but people are not entertained by these things. people want what they're not supposed to have. it's why teenagers watch porn and girls read vampire novels.

define tragedy: Nicholas sparks writes about his inability to hear God's voice or his wrestling's with Paul's letter to the Roman church instead of writing the greatest love story of the decade.

i have no chance to please this world.
and i'm beginning to be alright with that.

i guess i haven't been blogging lately because lately any blog over 120 characters goes unnoticed from the publics eye. there was only one person who seemed to absolutely love listening to me rav on and on about pointless theories and telling short stories that make absolutely no sense. that person swore to be gone forever from my life for Divine reasons which has me in this rather unhealthy habit of questioning God. in my life's span there's been hardly the pretense in my prayers, not uncommon for one raised in the Hispanic order. i was trained to wrestle with God in my prayers. i've been told that He's utterly and deeply interested in my struggles, doubts and worries. and i've got this guitar that was given to me by a gracious individual. so i've been spending my friendless nights with my six strings and a living God. i'm absolutely satisfied with having a Friend who loves unconditionally. i've also been trained to say that too. [thats what we christians have to say]. the truth is : i'm not. it would also be very true to say Christ is able to fully satisfy.

"i give you a finger and you take my whole arm"- my dad says all the time.

unfortunately with God i've been content with a little when He's offering so much more. so from now on i'm going to be like a good friend and stay on the "phone", press through those awkward silent moments, and call more than just when i'm bored. and like lovers, we'll only hang up when we've mistakenly fallen asleep.

“Poetry is the music of the soul, and, above all, of great and feeling souls.”
— Voltaire

what to say what to say ?
my mind feels as though it were a shrewd worm trying to sneak from out under Everest. i haven't been able to think creatively in the last couple days. its terrible.
my friend leaves school today, and i probs won't see him for a very long time. this life that the good God has given me resembles that of a tent. i am never home. i am always saying goodbye...

O—O (via kimdokhac)

jason reeves defined us through the year.
john mayer carried us over to this "whatchamacallit" season we are all in.
who know's what these next few moons has in store for us...
does anyone know, "really? please tell me."

#bestfriends.