dizzy.

the human heart is the most confusing vessel in the human makeup. who knows where it leads or why it leads, or at what speed it can be led. why is it when everything seems so right it has the capability to be so very wrong. if life had a road map it would be so easy, but yet so boring. if we knew the future what is there for risk, for adventure, in fear, in love, in destiny and fate. but at points i would trade it all in so that i could never hurt anyone again. so that i didn't question, i just knew.
Stephen Christian .

journal:
am i alone in that i am easily ensnared into the trap of my emotions ? One good laugh shared with someone immediately puts the feeling in my stomach that , " this could be right " . and i don't like it. i want to know her. i'm tired of the circles of yes and no, and maybe so. there are some that know the one, and it's straight running from there, but me on the other hand, no, i have not run straight ever. with my good friend, i am left in awe, but i have forgotten what that feels like. but that's part of life, especially in love. there's no telling what will happen tomorrow, or after this post. and maybe that's why marriage has come into question in the hearts of so many. they suspect boredom in running straight. they remember the times (of which i currently run) of wavering in and out of desire. i, on the other hand, am tired of the "in's and out's". i want consistency. i want to be lovesick. i want to be captured. I've tasted it with Jesus, and it's so sweet. Now, will it ever happen again? i sure hope so, because I'm dizzy.