i guess i haven't been blogging lately because lately any blog over 120 characters goes unnoticed from the publics eye. there was only one person who seemed to absolutely love listening to me rav on and on about pointless theories and telling short stories that make absolutely no sense. that person swore to be gone forever from my life for Divine reasons which has me in this rather unhealthy habit of questioning God. in my life's span there's been hardly the pretense in my prayers, not uncommon for one raised in the Hispanic order. i was trained to wrestle with God in my prayers. i've been told that He's utterly and deeply interested in my struggles, doubts and worries. and i've got this guitar that was given to me by a gracious individual. so i've been spending my friendless nights with my six strings and a living God. i'm absolutely satisfied with having a Friend who loves unconditionally. i've also been trained to say that too. [thats what we christians have to say]. the truth is : i'm not. it would also be very true to say Christ is able to fully satisfy.

"i give you a finger and you take my whole arm"- my dad says all the time.

unfortunately with God i've been content with a little when He's offering so much more. so from now on i'm going to be like a good friend and stay on the "phone", press through those awkward silent moments, and call more than just when i'm bored. and like lovers, we'll only hang up when we've mistakenly fallen asleep.