travel with canon my desire


dream landscape (via Barnies)

“Talent is helpful in writing, but guts are absolutely necessary.”
— Jessamyn West

heart-drop

I'm thinking about how far I am willing to go for this thing that I want most in my life right now. Am i willing to lay that down for a while and believe that God can bring it back to life again? As far as I know, all my human effort will fall to the dust. Only the Divine can sway...

my LOVE/HATE relationship with romance

my biggest temptation right now is to FLOAT.
i want to just play guitar all day and read TUMBLR.
most of my blogs are made up love poems that i post
to make the reader think i'm in WONDER.
i'm not there.
haven't been there for a VERY, VERY long time.

--

i'm so interested in romance. i admit i find it fascinating.
i grew up in a home that constantly surrounded me with it.
my mom still gets nervous when my dad knocks on the door.
and so i've found in myself an inclination to daydream, write, dialogue
about romance ALL THE TIME.

--

i also have found that nothing in the world scares the hell out of me
like romance does. the thought of it makes me run back to my cave
with Don Miller. He's really good for lonely people like myself.

--

i learned recently that there are some people that aren't fascinated
by romance at all. they actually daydream about being single all their lives...drinking tea and becoming a Secret Window character. it doesn't bother them at all. they write about things that matter, like Obama's progress as president or the comparison between Macbooks and PCs. some of them even write about Jesus all the time.

lucky souls.

just going to go ahead and say that this weekend ranks amongst the greatest.
thank you miami.

ten steps to becoming a better writer

according to brian clark:


Write.
Write more.
Write even more.
Write even more than that.
Write when you don’t want to.
Write when you do.
Write when you have something to say.
Write when you don’t.
Write every day.
Keep writing.

--i think its nearly the same method for photography .
and love?

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
— Jim Morrison

i daydreamed today for nearly three hours on whether Jesus would want to have coffee with me or not. At first, i thought that Jesus might be a tea kind of God.
i concluded that if i'd ask Him to coffee He'd probably shrug His shoulders and say "shoot, why not?". then i imagined that He asked me why i talked about romance so much on my blog.
he said that he agreed with Torres.
i complained to Him saying that He messed up when He made it this way. i told him that it should be a lot easier, without headaches, phone scratches,etc. oh, and i told him that hormones was a bad idea too.
overall, it was a pretty sweet daydream.

Yikes! The truth is known: what transpired between us- love or infatuation or whatever it was- here is the proof. it was real,it was deep. i didn't think it was this deep did you? i moved thousands of miles away but there's this annoying room with a locked door in my mind. there's conversations and memories locked in there. on nights like these i feel hopeful enough to crawl in - I PEAK. and every time i do it takes me back to this place. i dream, you know that right?
course you do.

oh, how many times have i tried to forget
that god-forsaken table.
the story of the kiss rejected
(any thoughts of kissing another)
i know what you said (they told me)
and i walked away
trying to convince myself that it was
ALL A HOAX.
all lies, right ?
noel you're wrong.
i left but she's gone.
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN:
only the good-looking guys win them back at
THE END.

“I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough.”
-the notebook

“You are everything
I have always dreamed of but
never woke up to.”

nightmare.

“[reading, about Noah] She had come back into his life like a sudden flame, blazing and streaming into his heart. Noah stayed up all night contemplating the certain agony he knew would be his if he were to lose her twice.”
— The Notebook

dreams.

as i lay next to one of my best friends last night, i said: " i don't want to ever lay next to someone and have them ask me about my dreams and my answer being so moderate that their only response would be " oh, that's cool."

i've always been a dreamer. and i think it's alright.

on the subject of THE GIRL: I'm still trying to figure out the line between DREAMER AND CREEPER. :) ( just kidding people . )

art and coffee.

I recently listened to a lecture by John Piper in which he spent an hour talking about his story and how he got to the place that he's at. If you do not know who John Piper is and for some reason are interested in getting to know him, you could tune into his podcast titled " the pastor as scholar ". In his lecture he goes on a 5 minute rampage on writing and why he loves the art. Piper says that poetry is a way of putting words together that awakens things in people that wouldn’t have been awakened unless it had been written. writing to me is one of the things that i do for myself. i don't usually have my readers in mind when i'm writing. that's probably why i go through journals at the pace i do. i started this blog after struggling for a while. my struggle was that because my writing was mostly a thing i did to function properly, or as a means of venting, THAT it would be pointless to publish my ramblings to the public and that maybe i should just stick to journaling.
that's when i started to love art.
the beauty of art is that it is all about expression. some would say that it IS expression. i enjoy listening to music because it is like sitting at a coffee shop with your roommate telling stories to one another. music lets me sit down with the likes of Mayer and Fitzgerald, Upton and Dylan. i just sit quietly drinking my mocha while they spend 90 or so minutes telling me their stories, the drawings on their heart. that IS how they say we know one's heart (they say): by LISTENING.
and there's something beautiful and enticing about the opportunity. we all want to know that we are not alone on this God-made planet.
that's what art gives us.
her songs, although sung for the sake of venting or expression, will beckon millions to coffee. sit down and share in this gift of life called fellowship.
we all need it. and that's why i blog.

the least jealous of loves

"Lamb says somewhere that if, of three friends (A,B and C), A should die, then B not only loses A but "A"'s part in C, while C loses not only A but 'A's part in B'. In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; i want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles is dead, I shall never again see Ronald's reaction to a specifically Caroline joke. Far from having more of Ronald, having him 'to myself' now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald. Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, 'Here comes one who will augment our loves.' For in this love 'to divide is not to take away'...we possess each friend not less but more as the number of those with whom we share him increases. In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious 'nearness by resemblance' to Heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed [which no man can number] increases the fruition which each has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest. That, says an old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying 'Holy, holy, holy' to one another [ Isa 6:3 ]. The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread, the more we shall all have."

-C.S Lewis.

Resurrection.

In 1 Corinthians 15, Paul writes about redemption. What he really does is talk about resurrection but they are one and the same. He says that life would be futile if Christ had not risen from the grave. If Christ would have died, and stayed dead, it would have been the greatest downer the world would ever see. I mean how can a Man who preached that everything needed to be resurrected ( redeemed, if you will ) not come back to life after His own death ? It would be foolishness. Life would be futile without the resurrection. We would have no hope. We would live like the pagan who thinks that life is not eternal, and consequently - we should just live to bring pleasure to our bodies while we have them.
What hope would creation have? The trees would stay barren, satisfied with it's winter dress. It would groan with no avail for all of its days.

*Right outside my window stands erected a 100+ foot tree. I have been watching this tree go through its seasons since i moved up here. In the winter time, i would look out my window at "my" tree to find it barren and very emo-like.
it was dead.
My tree is green again. It has come to life again ( although it was only it's appearance that was dead-like ). Signs of life all over campus again. Resurrection.

Creation still groans, but with hope. It hopes for a better day. All of nature hopes for the day with Christ will be on the throne, on earth. All will be redeemed. The curse will be removed.

We too wait in hope. Our bodies will be redeemed. As for now, we believe that when Christ rose from the dead, so did we. We are not dead anymore. We can now live the Christ-life here on earth. He put in the grave our lust, greed, selfishness, hate.
We are a new creation, filled with love, joy, peace , and righteousness. Filled with hope.

We share our material possessions ( because nothing is really OURS... ). WE fast our food and give it to someone who could really use some. We put away our time-consuming electronics and commit to live life WITH OTHERS. We pray TOGETHER, eat TOGETHER, laugh & cry TOGETHER, because this is how it's supposed to be. We live as if we had hope of a heaven on earth. Because we do.

I'm not blogging anymore of my ideals. I'm trying to live this out before i ever tell someone about it.

My friend and I put away our electronics for a few weeks to live life more simple. My friend lent me her laptop to type up my paper and i thought i'd write something. SO here it is.

( ..the SIMPLE WAY is so under-rated )