8.15.2008
apology.
For trying to prove what's not there.
That I enjoyed the same music.
That i didn't burn with every curse word heard.
For saying, "i don't think so"
instead of , "hell no you shouldn't."
For doing what they all did
converting to ordinary, to be relevant.
but being relevant didn't change anything.
Like the Baptist I was born,
like the shepherd king, i was tempted to wear
Saul's Armor. to fit in.
but i can't .
i really tried too.
They enjoyed me more this way.
so i guess thats a good thing.
i enjoyed it more this way too.
8.12.2008
i hear my train...
im repented that i grew too attached to some things over the past few months. So my prayers are that it all might grow distant with the distance. this is the end of something and the beginning of something new altogether. My desires have untied the knot. the glue has dampened. i'm not complaining. its just all part of the package. my friends say that all will remain the same. but i would have to render that false. it will all change. and change is good.
i was sitting down with a friend the other day. i told her that i did not know why i was doing this. i have never felt the sovereignty of God as heavy as i do at the moment. why can't i just follow the path of the one whose treaded it ahead of me? i don't know how this will end up. usually when one thinks that everything will change, not much really changes. but i want things to change. i want to fall into the hands of my Maker. that means change. that means risk. that means no more shortcuts. im casting myself unto the Sovereign One. i can't help but shake as i write this but find confort in the biography of brother Hudson Taylor who forsook all to preach the Gospel to a gospel-less China. with only pennies in his pocket, He remained faithful to the Faithful One, not asking for any money for his entire career as missionary in China. He trusted. He now wears a crown on his head that "perishes not". [ Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret by: Dr & Mrs. Howard Taylor]
the 25th: im off chasing my dreams. this is what i've spent entire nights talking to friends about since i was a kid.
"how can they hear without a preacher" right?
8.07.2008
Dear next President of the US of A.
congratulations on your recent promotion.
I don't know much politics, but since both sides are professing Christians, Paul would advice me to remind ya of some scripture.
Mr Obama: ( if your still alive)
King David, in one of his Messianic Psalms, states "But You are He who took Me out of the womb; You made Me trust while on My mother’s breasts. I was cast upon You from birth. From My mother’s womb You have been My God." (Psalm 22:9-10).
Please don't allow the murdering of babies.
Mark 10: 6-8: But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
This one's a tough one, because if you're in office, it's probably because you got all the "left side" votes. So following God's law on this one is definitely going to get you in trouble, but hey just think about eternity for a moment. In 50 years, you will look back and say, "hey, i could have helped stopped the murdering of millions of babies, but i let it happen". That would be a major bummer.
They say that you'll make my wallet heavier, so that's cool. But Jesus told us not to make decisions based on whether or not we would make more mammon or not, so...
Don't count on my vote.
Dear Mr: McCaine:
My friend in Iraq tells me that they think Mr. Bush is a terrorist. My friend is a christian. She can't go to sleep at night because of the constant bombing. Her church building was bombed. Put yourself in her position sir. And i know that it's your job to make the U.S citizens feel safe. I know that the actions of the terrorists are evil. But consider what Scripture says about evil.
Paul asked: "how can you say, “Let us do evil that good may come”?.
Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you;
7 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,”[a] says the Lord. 20 Therefore
“ If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”[b]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
And no offense sir, but you can't believe in God and evolution at the same time.
Don't count on my vote.
...
In 120 characters or less, what would you say to the next president?
7.24.2008
john piper's "wartime lifestyle"
...I need to hear this message again and again, because i drift into a peacetime mind-set as certainly as rain falls down and flames go up. I am wired by nature to love the same toys that the world loves. I start to fit in. I start to love what others love. i start to call earth "home". Before you know it, i am calling luxuries "needs" and using my money just the way unbelievers do. I begin to forget the "war". I don't think much about people perishing. Missions and unreached peoples drop out of my mind. i stop dreaming about the triumphs of grace. I sink into a secular mindset that looka first to what man can do, not what God can do. It is a terrible sickness. And i thank God for those who have forced me again and again toward a war-time mindset. "
7.18.2008
hi.
7.17.2008
the here and now
God please help me to love my mom and dad, sisters, pay for a friend's lunch... to do the little things that i often overlook.
Austria has been on my mind, so much in fact that i took my eyes off the here and the now - and the opportunities thereof. i was praying for God to use me overseas to bring about change, feed the hungry, heal the sick, etc. but Jesus has reminded me about my family, and my friends, co-workers. He wants to use me [you] now.
for tomorrow is never promised.
while reading james' book in the new testament last night, it made me wonder whether we were meant to have all these plans for the future. i think we should constantly remind ourselves of "now" .of the present moment. and of making the most of it. mother teresa used to say: "you cannot love your neighbor unless you learn to love your family." and maybe thats one of the problems with our culture, that we've been programmed since we were kids to look ahead and have all these dreams. that , on its own, is a good thing. but we've made it out to be that all we live for is the future. the patriarchs of our faith also looked forward to something, but nothing earthly. their hope was in The City, eternity. and they understood that the pleasure they recieved in eternity is directly linked to the present moment, and what we do in it.
so open your eyes and your hands little child,
look at those 5 loaves and 2 fish that seem so small
learn to use them now in this moment
and one day you'll be able to feed us all.
but whatever you do, do not miss this moment. because there's beauty in it.
[as you read this, it's a beautiful moment: a chance to pray, a chance to make someone's day, a chance to surprise your parents with a big wet kiss!]
7.14.2008
these two in mind
when reality becomes real, christians show their zeal.
so we live with these two in mind
that time and eternity live together.
that "they can't hear without a preacher"
and "she will fall for another".
life, Jesus, and love-
have taught me their lessons.
they've taught me that "life isnt life unless it's given away".
that Eric Clapton's "layla" does exist
and that there can always be another on the other side.
then she becomes "layla" and then another...
Jesus has asked me "will you turn away too?"- and i counted the cost.
she will ask me the same as life has taught her that i will.
but to both i respond, i'm here to stay , although i go.
like Upton sings, i run, but love's magnet has me running right to you.
i'm starting to comtemplate the possibilities that Jesus meant everything He said.
very unpentecostal of me, i know.
but His teachings of celebacy and redistribution have tugged on me lately
and i ask "did He mean it?" .
and He asks the same of you and me.
"did you mean it?"
when you said you will follow.
it really hurts to leave for these three years
but i'm off following Him.
and i can only hope and pray me and her are opposites.
though for now it seems doubtful.
may God give you peace.
6.09.2008
unquenchable love
Daniel 7:9
“I watched till thrones were put in place, and the ancient of days was seated; his garment was white as snow, and the hair of his head was like pure wool. His throne was a fiery flame, it’s wheels a burning fire.”
His throne was a fiery flame, it’s wheels a burning fire. Our God… being moved by fire. Our God, being moved by passion. By love. Not fancy words. Not empty sacrifices. Not positions, titles or things that can be acknowledged by man. The wheels of His throne are a burning fire. What drives Him and moves Him is fiery passion. This word ‘fire’ has been in my spirit lately. I can’t help but think of how His beautiful eyes… the eyes that made me fall in love… are a blazing fire…and with those eyes he is trying to find a reflection within my heart, so he sees that same fire inside of me. He wants to be moved by the passion in my heart. He is searching us… were not our hearts burning within us?
5.20.2008
oh, summer
i remember when i used to spend my entire summer days running around being a kid. i want that again.
so i'm giving away my laptop for the summer and will be completely abandoned to God, family, friends, video games and books.
I am graduating this Friday at Florida International University and so my sister is congratulating me with a sweet camcorder. i will keep you informed of my time spent on campus and on the mission field through the medium of this precious graduation gift.
either way, i am sure Melissa will continue to blog throughout the summer. as for Julio Anta... he will be writing/ touring on the famous Warped Tour this summer so he might keep us posted on his experiences there.
i hope i will be able to post this summer but if not,
5.15.2008
give me bread..
We are all looking. The Bible says all creation groans in eager expectation for the revealing of the sons of God. Why the sons of God? Simple…because we look like our Father. So we’re looking… each and every one of us are looking and searching. Remember how Adam got kicked out of the Garden of Eden?? You and me… we want to go back in. Back into the place of completion, where there were no questions as to where we were going next and what we should do with our lives because we walked with God, where we were surrounded by life because nothing had died until Adam killed to conceal his sin, where the sweet smell of the breath of God lingered in the air. We want to go back in… we want God again….so we are looking for a way.
But why do we look for the living among the dead? Why do we look for the living God among the dead world? Why do we look for God in “old tombs” of relationships, ambitions, money, and compromise? He is not there. And being someone who has looked frantically like a deer pants for water… I’ve tried to find Him. I’ve tried to find the acceptance of God inside people, I’ve tried to find the will of God inside “safe small steps” instead of leaps of faith, and I’ve tried to find the richness of God inside ambitions of this world. I’ve tried all that with no luck… but today during lunch at work, I think I found Him. I found him and he wasn’t inside church [not saying church is bad… just go with me here]. I found Him and he wasn’t inside a theologian or scholar. I found Him and surprisingly enough it wasn’t inside Jason Upton…[haha]. I found Him in bread.
In Luke 24, after Jesus had died and resurrected, he appeared to 2 men walking down the road to a city named Emmaus. They were talking about Jesus, trying to understand the crucifixion when out of a sudden Jesus came up and started walking with them. They didn’t recognize that it was Him, so they started talking TO Jesus, ABOUT Jesus. When they finally got to where they were going, they invited Jesus to stay with them. The Bible then says that Jesus took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. “Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him” [Luke 24:31]. He took bread and broke it, THEN their eyes were opened and they recognized Him. What is bread? The word of God (John 6:51,John 1:1). Once the bread AKA the Word was torn open, they were able to recognize Jesus.
We have been looking for the living among the dead… when all we need to do is tear open the word of God to be able to recognize who He is in our lives.
I’m still learning and trying, but my soul longs yes even faints [IM STARVING] for the courts of the Lord, my heart and flesh cry out for the living God [Psalm 84]. Give me bread…
5.14.2008
task at hand
( careful, it might get you killed )
"What is, therefore ,our task today? Shall i answer : "faith, hope, and love"? That sounds beautiful. But i would say - courage. No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness. For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature... we lack a holy rage- the recklessness which comes from the knowledge of God and humanity. the ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the face of the earth... a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world. To rage against the ravaging of God's earth, and the destruction of God's world. To rage when little children must die of hunger, when the tables of the rich are sagging with food. To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and against the madness of militaries. To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction peace. To rage against complacency. To restlessly seek that restlessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God. And remember the signs of the Christian Church have been the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove, and the Fish... But never the chameleon. "
5.10.2008
i want a beard
because after all that is what Jesus cared about." - [anayanez.blogspot.com]
i read , write alot on justice. i do very little.
it would make me look cool.
cool because radical.
because radical is cool.
i don't even have to be radical to be cool.
just look it
so i want a beard and dreads, and a picture with a child from sudan.
and i'll keep writing these blogs on justice
and keep my hands and feet clean.
jesus you came to wash your disciples feet
but mine are pretty clean.
so forgive me.
you're calling me to risk
to be faceless,
to act.
i'm sorry God.
“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.”
- von Goethe
give a shhhh...
the following is an excerpt from the article i was reading: [ i must warn you, it might offend ] .
[ Sacred Reality by :Erin Warde, Burnside writers collective }
Speaking at Wheaton College, Tony Campolo once had great opposition to his words (which have been quoted various times, various ways, with the meaning still valid), “I have three things I’d like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don’t give a shit. What’s worse is that you’re more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.” Not only do I find truth in his words, but also in the reaction. Crowds were shocked, just as he knew they would be. And, though I can speak for no one’s heart, I believe that those people were far more concerned with a four letter word uttered in church than 30,000 deaths. To make things a bit more real, 17 million children, just children, die from malnutrition and starvation each year, and I do believe that we as a society cannot bring ourselves to show enough compassion for these children and, as Campolo noted frankly - give a shit.
please share your thoughts.
5.09.2008
undiscovered
-Howard Thurman
i think i can drive in my neighborhood blindfolded. but there are so many roads out there, and it would be foolish of me think that driving in my neighborhood is the only place i should drive. in the same way, we should be continually opening our arms to new people. they aren't actually new people, they're just new to you and i. they have some years on them. they've laughed, and cried. been loved, been broken. they've been alone in their room, just like you and i, staring at their roof. they have the other part of the song. i must confess that there have been times when i have built up walls around my friends, and you needed like a special pass to hang with us. but i think God's calling us to lay down our arms to the "unknown and undiscovered brothers.” this year i tried it out, and i made some amazing friends. i hope this summer will be a season of beautiful community.
this word community has messed me up by the way. Jesus was the ultimate friend. he laid down His life for His friends. he showed us what true friendship was.
and... God has been speaking to me alot lately. Yay! actually it is really exciting although it cuts me to the heart. every time i have had food or money in my hand this past week [money- very few times]; he has whispered in my heart to share with someone. i have failed miserably proving to me that i am very selfish. so i'm working on "giving my coat away" even if it leaves me cold.
5.08.2008
i hope you dance
May you never take one single breath for granted, GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin', Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)
5.07.2008
building barns
-Henri Nouwen, The Genessee Diary.
so to all you "saints" out there, get down! you're not that great.
to the old and retired, use your wealth and wisdom for the benefit of others, not just for yourself.
to the talented, remember the days when you loved to practice, and do it again.
become a child again.
[ food for thought ] : 97 % of people evangelized this year were done so by "first-year" Christians.
beloved's.
try saying "hi" to as many people as you possibly can today. and maybe even make it your aim to make someone feel special, and good about themselves. in time, it will turn into habit. they might think you're weird at first, but hey, that's ok. talk to someone you don't usually talk to. i mean really talk. together we can be a community that lifts each other and is filled with hope as we await our Savior. together.
5.06.2008
when the time comes...
You are wisdom but you ask questions
Thank you God for never telling me a lie
Your decisions are mostly hidden
The stage you stand upon is not for human eyes
You tell me not to worry about tomorrow But I worry anyway
You tell me you’ll take care of all my troubles
Jesus, teach me how to wait
You are future but you are present
Thank you God for never running from your past
You’re committed to your creation
For everything you’ve made your love forever lasts
You tell me not to worry about tomorrow but I worry anyway
You tell me you’ll take care of all my troubles
Jesus, teach me how to wait
When the time comes, I will see forever
When the time comes, It’ll be all right
When the time comes, I will be the one asking why
- Jason Upton
jesus you are committed to me, Your creation. even though i am a screw up. You're patient with me. God i am so longing to be with You already.
"When the time comes, It’ll be all right
When the time comes, I will be the one asking why".
"i hate everything about my ways but you tell me that i'm ok. thank you so much jesus for saying that."- Bryce Avary
4.29.2008
gravity
i am not scared of you, i am scared of me.
we were fools to believe that we would redeem each other.
what great gravity is this that drew my heart toward yours? what great force collapsed my orbit, my lonesome state? what is that wants in me the want in you? don't we go at each other with yielded eyes, with cumbered hands and feet, with clunky tongues? this deed is unattainable! we cannot know each other!
i will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. i will stop expecting your love, demanding your love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. i will simply love. i am giving myself to you, and tomorrow i will do it again. i suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before i am ended at this altar of dying and dying again.
God risked Himself on me. i will risk myself on you. and together, we will learn love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us. "
-Don Miller, Polaroids
the great gravity that brought jesus from the heavens unto this earth will bring me down too, unto my knees, for the least.
4.25.2008
girls and lack of.
- Don Miller, Blue like jazz
i know nothing of girls.
and i suck at acoustic guitar.
.